Adoption: The Elementary School Years
By: Leslie Zindulka LCSW-R
First grade is when “real school” begins. Six-year-olds now have reached the age when they are required to sit still, pay attention and learn to read and write. During these years, they will gain a new sense of independence as they ride to school on the bus alone and negotiate the cafeteria. Special consideration will be needed when it comes to certain class assignments, because children at this age are still concrete thinkers. Your experience with preschool teachers may help you and your child decide whether to share adoption information with appropriate elementary school personnel. Even though, children in elementary school often feel they are old enough to decide for themselves whether to tell their classmates about their adoption. However, there are two schools of thought on whether ‘to tell or not to tell’. Some professionals and adoptive parents think it is unwise to share adoption information with school staff for fear that teachers will blame all problems on the adoption, or cause their child to be made fun of. Others say that parents cannot expect teachers to become more sensitive to adoption issues or use positive adoption language if parents are not willing to share openly their own positive feelings about adoption. With that said, children must be taught that once they do tell, they will not be able to “take it back.”
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